Oh, what a sissy thing to love on Easter morning. You all know the topic here. Its Peeps! The shame. The outright ridicule. Eating a Peep. These ridiculously colored, sugar dipped, animal look alikes that are intended to be what? Eaten? It’s a Chickie, or a Bunny… ooooh. Peeps. Don’t make me take a blowtorch to you. You little fluffy, sugar coated, rubbery mystery animal.
- Plug a leak in a perfectly good boat
- Plug up the terlet
- Bathtub stopper
- Sink stopper
- Packing a musket to keep the load from coming out
- Irritating the CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY!
Seriously? You think that these little bright bastards of candy-land were going to sneak past “THE GODFATHER” of EASTER candy? He IS the Easter bunny! He has family. Why is he called the GODFATHER you ask?
- He is Hollowed, That’s why
- He shits jellybeans
- The Easter Bunny Lays EGGS! An AMAZING FEAT!
The Easter bunny’s eggs have delighted both children and adults since the beginning of our known time. The Easter bunny allowed Ronald Reagan to have his own Jelly Beans on his desk. Ronald Reagan still hunted for Easter eggs; not Peeps. Peeps are nothing but sugary, died, marshmallow Animal Crackers. Animal crackers aren’t cool. The Godfather said so.
So, in light of this little machine made impostor of an Easter Bunny Original, I have my eye on you, peepy McPeepmaster.