Posts Tagged ‘Ipod’

Take One Armadillo, Add Flash Bulb, and Stir!

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    Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
    sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
    After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
    elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
    75 flights of stairs to get to their room.  Bill said to Jim and
    Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
    concentrating on something interesting.  I'll tell jokes for 25
    flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
    tell sad stories the rest of the way.  At the 26th floor Bill
    stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.  At the 51st floor
    Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.  "I will
    tell my saddest story first," he said.  "I left the room key in
    the car!"

Oh, what a sissy thing to love on Easter morning. You all know the topic here. Its Peeps! The shame. The outright ridicule. Eating a Peep. These ridiculously colored, sugar dipped, animal look alikes that are intended to be what? Eaten? It’s a Chickie, or a Bunny… ooooh. Peeps. Don’t make me take a blowtorch to you. You little fluffy, sugar coated, rubbery mystery animal.

Wait, my kids love them. Bullshit! I have to throw that card. Bullshiiiit! Peeps are only good for their utilitarian use”

Seriously? You think that these little bright bastards of candy-land were going to sneak past “THE GODFATHER” of EASTER candy? He IS the Easter bunny! He has family. Why is he called the GODFATHER you ask?Image

  • He is Hollowed, That’s why
  • He shits jellybeans
  • The Easter Bunny Lays EGGS! An AMAZING FEAT!

The Easter bunny’s eggs have delighted both children and adults since the beginning of our known time. The Easter bunny¬† allowed Ronald Reagan to have his own Jelly Beans on his desk. Ronald Reagan still hunted for Easter eggs; not Peeps. Peeps are nothing but sugary, died, marshmallow Animal Crackers. Animal crackers aren’t cool. The Godfather said so.

So, in light of this little machine made impostor of an Easter Bunny Original, I have my eye on you, peepy McPeepmaster.