Posts Tagged ‘Jokes’

Take One Armadillo, Add Flash Bulb, and Stir!

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    Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were
    sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.
    After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the
    elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb
    75 flights of stairs to get to their room.  Bill said to Jim and
    Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by
    concentrating on something interesting.  I'll tell jokes for 25
    flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can
    tell sad stories the rest of the way.  At the 26th floor Bill
    stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.  At the 51st floor
    Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.  "I will
    tell my saddest story first," he said.  "I left the room key in
    the car!"

Noooooooooo!

Posted: April 20, 2012 in Animals, Funny, Humor, Jokes, nude
Tags: , , , , , ,

He doesn't take to infidelity lightly....

Two men were walking their dogs together. The first guy with a Chocolate lab and the second a Chihuahua

The first guy says, “Hey, you want to get something to eat?”

The second guy replies, “Yeah, but they all have signs that say ‘No Dogs Allowed’.”

The first guy with the lab puts sunglasses on and hands the other guy a pair. “Follow my lead,” he says.

As he walks into the restaurant a waiter stops him and says, “Sir, no dogs allowed.”

The man replies, “It’s O.K., this is my seeing eye dog.” The waiter apologizes and leads the man to a table as the second man enters.

The same waiter stops him but the guy says, “This is my seeing eye dog. I’m with the other guy.”

The waiter replies, “Sir, you can’t fool me, you have a Chihuahua.”

The man freaks out and says, “A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!”